Money Saving Tips, The Rules, & People Stealing Food off my Plate!

Dear Kelli,
This economy stinks! I feel like I'm buried in debt and just can't afford to even go to a nice restaurant anymore. How can I save money just on the little things (i.e., groceries, cell phone, gas, etc.)?

Signed,
Cheap Skate for a Reason!


Dear Cheap Skate for a Reason,

Growing up in a household where my dad was Mr. Frugal, you are asking the right girl! For 2 years straight I ate Total for breakfast because he found some crazy sale that if you buy 12 boxes you got 3 free. Yeah, in some families it's a sin to get married out of wedlock. In my family it's a sin to buy something without a coupon. So in a sense I learned from his crazy ways!

Well, first I want to applaud you for taking a proactive approach to saving money. This will certainly help you now and in the long run.

Here are my favorite money saving tips:

Groceries:
* Try and visit farmers' markets. Not only are you saving money but you are also going green (pollution costs, no pesticides, etc.)
* Buy a membership at Cosco, BJ's Wholesale Club, or Sam's Club. It's well worth the yearly membership fee.
* Buy butter and milk when they're on sale, then put them in the freezer. Butter can last six to nine months frozen and milk can last safely for three.
* Split basics with neighbors (i.e. rice, sugar, flour, etc.)
* Learn your local grocery store's sale cycle (sales are often cyclical)
* Join your grocery store's rewards/affinity program
* Cook large batches of food and freeze for later use
* Visit online sites where you can get coupons. I like
http://www.smartsource.com/ (because it's free, of course).

Phone bills etc.:
* Go to http://www.whitefence.com/ and comparison shop for the best phone, electric, and cable service in your area.
* Think about purchasing the Magic Jack. It's a phone that you plug into the USB port in your computer. You get an incoming phone number (in your local area code), unlimited calling, and free long distance. It only costs around $20 a year plus around $20 for the device.
* Try Google Voice. It's a call forwarding service that can save you precious minutes you'd otherwise use on your cell phone.
* Consider purchasing a family cell plan.

Retail shopping:
* One of my favorite sites is http://www.retailmenot.com/ . Just type in where you are planning to purchase (i.e. Gap, Old Navy, etc.) and they usually have some sort of coupon for you.
* Think about shopping at discount stores like Marshalls, TJ Maxx, or Ross. They often have brand name clothes at a lower cost.
* Look for unique or basic pieces at consignment shops.
* Sell your old clothes on www.ebay.com . Your "junk" is another person's treasure.

Gas:
* Slow down! Every 5 mph you drive above 60 mph adds about 24 cents per gallon (automobiles generally get the best mileage rate at a steady pace).
* Consider using a cash-back credit card specifically for gas. For example, the Discover Open Road card gives 5% back on the first $100 spent on gas each month and the TrueEarnings card from Costco and American Express gives you a 3% rebate on gas.
* If you have that membership to Costco, BJ's Wholesale Club, or Sam's Club you can use their gas stations which often have the lowest rates.
* If not, check out http://www.gasbuddy.com/ to see which station has the best gas price in your neighborhood.

Other random tips:
* Work out at home (and forgo a gym membership cost). You could do dips on a chair, push-ups on the floor, and ab work right in your own home.
* Make your own cleaning supplies. See http://www.thegreenguide.com/ for recipes.
* Buy a subscription to Netflix or Blockbuster instead of going to the movies.
* Bring your own lunch to work.
* Consider cutting your own hair. It sounds funny but it's a nice savings over the long run!

Hope this helps.

All the best,
Kelli


Dear Kelli,
I am reading a book by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, "The Rules -- Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right," and my girlfriend swears to how effective the advice and the techniques are. And I do not object. I find the book very practical and real--the way it is supposed to be--"the old school way".

But I would like a second opinion. I understand that the rules or advice in self-help books really do not apply to every single human being, situation, and you can not build up your relationship, life based only on a book's advice. However, do you think what Fein and Schneider emphasize about never calling a man first, not returning his phone calls right away, being mysterious and so forth is the real way to captivate the heart of Mr. Right, as all these create a feeling of challenge that is part of men's nature, and an energy men are attracted to?

What to do then if a man shows strong interest in you, and you feel there is a mutual chemistry, but after he got your number he never calls--very illogical. Do we still never call first, and move on? Does it really matter who calls who first?

Many thanks!

Signed,
Rules Rule?


Dear Rules Rule,

[For those who aren't familiar with The Rules, I've provided a link to the Barnes & Noble web page with a good description of the book: http://tinyurl.com/yj8a93m ]

Yes, in my opinion I do believe the authors' perspective offers some merit. But not because it's important for the woman to have a leg up in a relationship (as they suggest) but because if a guy is truly interested in a woman, he'll do the calling, the asking out, etc. So in that sense a woman should just sit back and let the guys do the chasing. The book offers some pretty ridiculous suggestions at times (i.e. make sure to put lipstick on when working out "just in case") but I do agree with the overall theme that men know what they want, they do like a challenge, and women should have confidence and respect themselves.

So to answer your second question that if you and a date have mutual chemistry and he doesn't call, should you call him? Again, I say no. If isn't calling you then I don't think you truly had mutual chemistry. So yes, I am a firm believer that a girl shouldn't call first and that who calls first does matter. You want to know right from the start this guy is interested. No questions, no what-ifs, no "I'm not sure if he really likes me." In other words if he calls you, you know
he's interested. The end. No questions. If you call him, you never really know for sure. So if he hasn't called by now, yes, definitely move on.

All the best,
Kelli


Dear Kelli,
Help! Please tell me how to respond and how to avoid this happening in the future. An old, dearly-loved friend took me and others to dinner at a very fancy restaurant. After we have all made our own selections and the meals were delivered, our hostess asked whether I wanted to taste something on her plate. I declined. Then she asked whether she could taste something on my plate. Even though I said, "No, please don't," she speared a piece of my meat entree with
her personal fork and even passed part of the food from my plate to the guest on her other side, before I noticed what happened. She seemed to think she was justified in doing this because I had made an unusual order, calves liver, which she and her neighbor were curious to taste.

This eat-from-one-trough conduct completely destroys my appetite. What can I do to stop it? While I understand how people can be curious about the taste of rare foods, how can I encourage them to use the time-honored procedure of transferring food onto a third plate before passing it to another diner?

Signed,
A Grouchy Old Lady


Dear Grouchy Old Lady,

You have a right to be grouchy. Who wants people taking food off their plate without permission? I've learned everyone's comfort level is different when it comes to food. I know a guy who will literally let his dog lick from his plate but won't let his father drink from the same glass. So,
it's all relative.

I have a few suggestions depending on your comfort level. The first is the hardest but probably the most effective. When people ask to taste your food, you tell the truth. I would try something like, "You know, I am a little funny about people tasting my food. I don't know if I had a bad experience in a past life but it kind of destroys my appetite. I'm so sorry!"

The second is the honest but joking approach. Basically the truth, sugar-coated. While you are all sitting down to order you could throw out the idea of having a group appetizer. Then you could say something like, "Because tonight I'm hungry and Lord knows I'm not
sharing my [veal, hamburger, steak, etc.]with the group!" Then if people still ask to try your meal you could say something along the lines of: "Betty, I will happily give you my kidney but shucks, when it comes to my food I like to fly solo. It's the one thing I'm really selfish about! I'm sorry, Toots!"

Lastly (and I'll say out loud I'm not a huge fan of fibbing) but sometimes it's the only option, especially for people afraid of confrontation. If someone tries to dig at your grub simply stop them and say, "You know I'm just getting over a cold so it's probably not the best idea. I don't want to get you sick."

Good luck,
Kelli