Where to Date Online, Junky Food, & A Pet Passing

Dear Kelli,
I'm a Jewish 27-year-old female vegetarian looking to meet a nice man. I'm done with the bar scene and finally ready to try online dating. What sites do you recommend?

Signed,
Cyber Dater


Dear Cyber Dater,
Congratulations on making the move to date online. I'm partial to online dating only because that's where I met my husband! So you really never know...
Depending on your personality there are tons of online dating services. The most popular sites right now seem to be: www.match.com, www.eharmony.com, and www.plentyoffish.com. But you can always go to more specific sites depending on your priorities. For example, if you are exclusively dating Jewish men there is always www.jdate.com. And if you only want to date vegetarians you could try
www.veggiefishing.com. Want something a little different all together? You may want to try The Onion's personals: http://personals.theonion.com/, www.speeddate.com, and www.crazyblinddate.com

Good luck,
Kelli


Dear Kelli,
I try and keep my house fairly healthy for my kids. I don't buy many sweets, chips, or sugar cereals. In fact, I'm pretty neurotic with my own diet. I'm worried because whenever my son goes to his friends' houses (once or twice a week) he goes hog wild with their junky food. He tells me how excited he is that he got to eat donuts, lollypops, and soda. I know I can't control what
other people buy but I'm nervous that he is eating all this "bad" food. What can I do?

Signed,
No Sweet Tooth

Dear No Sweet Tooth,
You're right: you can't control what other families buy. But here is my take: if your son is eating relatively healthy 80% of the time (which it sounds like), he's doing pretty well. The little junk food he's eating isn't going to hurt him. In fact, they say it's good to splurge every once in awhile.

Now I'd take a look at your part. You say you are "neurotic" with your own diet. Are you projecting your fears about unhealthy foods onto your son? You may just want to watch how you react when he does eat junk food. A lot of eating disorders develop in kids in part from their parents. And I'm nervous the more you "fear" him into eating only healthy foods the more he may rebel and go "hog wild" when he goes to his friends' houses. So I would just try and have
a balance. Maybe go food shopping with your son and have him pick out one or two treats for the week? This way he won't feel deprived and binge when he is out at other friends' houses.

All the best,
Kelli


Dear Kelli,
My 14-year-old female Maltese just passed a week ago. But I still can't move on. I'm so depressed and upset. And I hate how everyone keeps saying, "It's only a dog!" Suggestions?

Signed,
Missy RIP

Dear Missy RIP,
I'm so sorry for your loss. You are talking to a dog lover herself so I get it. You say you "still" can't move on. It has only been a week! Grieving any loss takes time. And it's all individual too. Some people need a few days, while others need months. So please don't rush yourself to move on when you aren't ready. You take the time you need and be aware it may take more time than you think. Again, that's okay. You lived with this "family member" for 14 years. It's unrealistic to think you can just get over her passing in a week's time.

The truth is: people who aren't pet lovers may not understand the bond people humans and dogs. Unfortunately you just have to ignore the "It's only a dog!" comments. Justifying why you feel the way you do may get you more upset. So chose to not discuss your grieving with these people. If you feel the need to say anything just say something along the lines of: "Missy was part of my family and it's difficult when a family member passes. I'd really appreciate your
support during this time."

A great book to help you in the meantime is: Cold Noses: At The Pearly Gates by Gary Kurz.

All the best,
Kelli