Gift ideas, Coworker relatioships, & Quitting Smoking

Dear Kelli,
My brother is impossible to get gifts for. Any ideas?

Signed,
No Clue


Dear No Clue,
You left me with no clue! What is your brother like? Is he into sports? If so, why not buy him a ticket to a ballgame? Or is he a foodie? Then how about taking him out to dinner? You can save money on restaurant gift certificates at www.restaurant.com. Or what about a cooking lesson? William Sonoma in Mazza Gallerie has some great cooking classes (http://www.williams-sonoma.com). More the gadget type guy? Then he'd probably love a gift certificate to Best Buy or from Amazon (www.amazon.com). Does he love adventure? You could always look
into a car racing lesson (http://www.1800bepetty.com/experience/driveexp.aspx)
or hang gliding (http://www.aerosports.net/). There is also a great website called Find Gift (http://www.findgift.com/) that helps you find a present based on who the gift is for, the age of the person, interests, etc. I also really like www.redenvelope.com for some unique ideas.

All the best,
Kelli


Dear Kelli,
There is a male in my office who I've had a crush on for the past two years. Should I just suck it up already and ask him out? We actually don't work in the same department so I know our work relationship wouldn't be affected.

Signed,
No Longer a Chicken


Dear No Longer a Chicken,
Absolutely not. I say this not because you work together or because I'm mean and don't want you to go out with a cute guy. It's because if this guy hasn't ask you out yet he probably isn't interested. I don't mean to be harsh but it's true. (And no, he's not too shy, too busy with work, or doesn't know who you are).

Yes, I'm old fashioned but I also know that if a guy is really interested he'll do the asking. So move on from this one because there will be another one (sweaty palms and all) willing to ask you out in no time.

All the best,
Kelli


Dear Kelli,
I'm so pleased with myself that I quit smoking (23 years!) The problem is that I've noticed I've gained an obscene of weight as a result. What can I do?

Signed,
Bye Bye Cigarettes


Dear Bye Bye Cigarettes,
Congratulations! I'm very proud of you that you quit smoking. I understand how hard it must have been and how difficult it is to continue the process. So I applaud your efforts and support you 100%.

I'd like you to think about why you started smoking in the first place. Most smokers claim it was to relieve stress. So most likely you picked up a habit that soothed you. Right now, food is doing that same thing for you because smoking is no longer an option. The problem with addiction is that once you stop that certain behavior (smoking, drinking, shopping, etc), it usually
replaced by something else. The trick is to replace that habit with something healthy. So make a list of things that you can do to soothe you that aren't detrimental. For example, taking a walk, making a phone call, taking a bubble bath, etc.

Of course it will help you to exercise and eat healthy foods (fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, lean meats, etc.) But I'm thinking it's really not about the food —- it's the fact you need something to help you when difficult situations arise. A support group is great for this (or even a good friend).

It takes a lot of getting used to replacing old behaviors with new ones. So be gentle with yourself. It might also help to keep a written list of why you stopped smoking in the first place so you can continue to stay smoke-free.

All the best,
Kelli