Ask Kelli: Dating, Facebook Etiquette, & Energy Tips

Dear Kelli,
I am on the Cleveland Park listserve and enjoy reading your advice.

Do you have recommendations on dating service/ matchmakers? I have tried a few
different dating sites, including Jdate, but with no success. I am 44 years old
but look younger, and would like to meet someone my age, or even a few years younger. I am a good-looking professional woman, originally from Europe, and I
would like to meet a good-looking, smart guy, with a good sense of humor and of
course, educated, interesting, etc. -- the usual. I have tried internet
dating/speed dating, everything. What would you recommend? Do you possibly know
of a good matchmaker?

Thanks for your advice.

Signed,
Looking to Meet a Mate


Dear Looking to Meet a Mate,
'Tis the season for trying to find a date, huh? This seems to be the common
theme lately!

Because this question has been asked a few times before I'm just going to post
the link for the back issues of my answers:

http://askkelli.blogspot.com/2009/11/where-to-meet-men-husband-tagging-along.htm\
l

http://askkelli.blogspot.com/2009/10/dear-kelli-im-jewish-27-year-old-female.htm\
l

And as far as matchmakers…the finest matchmakers in my opinion are your family
and friends. They know you the best, know what you are looking for, and don't
have a vested interest in trying to make a buck out of it! So put the word out
to your family and friends that you want to meet someone. Who knows -- maybe
your mom could talk to her friend Linda who knows her neighbor's cousin who just
happens to have a brother who is single! You laugh but it's true: you never
know what could happen. But it won't work unless you start the trend!

Good luck,
Kelli


Dear Kelli,
I have a work colleague whose wife friended me on Facebook. That's fine and I
accepted but I soon discovered her status messages to everyone are completely
inappropriate. She'll say something like, "Feeling really sexy today. Just
popped out my Victoria's Secret new undies…" Does she realize she's making a
spectacle of herself? Should I say something to her husband?

Signed,
Cautious Friend


Dear Cautious Friend,
Ahh…Facebook. Some people utilize it to meet and reconnect with friends.
Others use it to get attention. I'm thinking that's the case for your friend's
wife.

So here's the thing: to each his own with Facebook. It's like clothing at work.
Sometimes you may find people wearing things inappropriate but you can't really
say anything (unless you're in HR but that's a different story). So in this
case, it's her post, her life, and her risk of embarrassment.

Personally, I wouldn't say anything to your friend. It's not worth the risk of
your work relationship over his wife's crazy posts. Plus, he may not be
offended because he may find his wife's post amusing or appealing. It's his
wife after all…

But does he realize she's even posting these crazy things, you ask? Probably.
Chances are: 1) He's a "friend" of hers as well and can see the posts. 2)
Someone who would post things like that tells me his wife is probably fairly
similar outside of Facebook. In other words, I'm sure your friend wouldn't be
shocked out of his mind if he did discover her messages.

All the best,
Kelli



Dear Kelli,
I have NO energy at all. I've ruled out any and all medical causes (been to a
few different doctors). Any general tips on how to be a little more lively? I
know you aren't an MD but I just need some everyday tips.

Signed,
Sleepy Slug


Dear Sleepy Slug,
I'm glad you at least ruled out any medical concerns. But you didn't mention
how you are feeling emotionally. Are you depressed at all? Depression can
often disguise itself as fatigue. If so, I highly encourage you to talk with a
therapist or counselor.

But assuming all is well physically and emotionally, here are a few tips that
work for me:

1) Drink more water! Dehydration can make you feel sluggish (and be careful of
caffeinated beverages which can dehydrate you further).

2) Eat healthy. Sugar and refined carbs can give you a lift periodically but
can cause a huge crash later in the day. You're better off eating lean
proteins, complex carbs (fruits, vegetables, whole grain bread, etc), and
healthy fats (olive oil, avocado, etc.).

3) Eat every 3-4 hours to keep your blood sugar stable.

4) Listen to music. One study found that workers who listened to music were 10%
more productive than without them.

5) Exercise. I know. This feels like the last thing you want to do when you
are tired. But exercise begets energy! Even a simple walk can give you a lift.

6) If you are desperate and need caffeine to wake up try Yerbe matte or green
tea (as opposed to energy drinks or coffee).

All the best,
Kelli