Ask Kelli: Gift Ideas, Not Wanting Kids, & Wanting Kids

Dear Kelli,
How can I do good this holiday season with gifts and otherwise?

Signed,
Want to do Good Finally


Dear Want to do Good Finally,
Good for you! What a great question and it's my pleasure to answer.

1) Volunteer. Nothing in my opinion means more to someone than your time. You
can go to http://www.serve.gov or http://www.volunteermatch.org to search for
opportunities right in your own zip code.

2) Save a life and give blood. http://www.givelife.org or
http://www.redcross.org can point you to the nearest blood bank.

3) Donate to charity. Click on http://www.justgive.org or
http://www.charitynavigator.org . Both offer charity gift cards that work like
gift certificates. The best part? You pick the donation amount and the gift
recipient picks the charity.

4) Shop sites that donate. http://www.giftback.com offers tons of gifts with
the charity of your choice receiving 10 percent. And if you are looking for
kids' gifts, trying visiting http://www.unicefusa.org , which helps kids around
the world.

5) Send an eco-friendly card. With every e-card you buy at
http://www.treegreetings.com , a tree is planted in the US or Central America.

6) Mail returnable cards. http://www.reproduct.net offers cards that people can
send back to be recycled.

All the best,
Kelli


Dear Kelli,
I hate to say it but I'm not a fan of kids. And I realized I don't work great
when they are around. What's the etiquette on bring children to the office?

Signed,
Not a Kid Lover


Dear Not a Kid Lover,
The answer really depends on your office and their regulations. You may want to
talk to HR to determine their exact policies.

On your end, however, I think it really depends on the frequency and duration of
child's visit. If a co-worker is just bringing in her kid to say hi, I think
you got to suck it up (and speaking of that, if you really want brownie points,
bring the kid a sucker. You'll feel good knowing you took contrary action to
your first impulse, and the co-worker and child will really appreciate it). If,
on the other hand, the child is spending all day with her parent, doing
cartwheels in the cubicle, and spinning around and around in her chair, yeah,
you got reason to speak up to your boss. So I would use your best judgment
depending on the situation.

All the best,
Kelli



Dear Kelli,
My fiance and I are really in love. The problem is that I know I want kids in
my future and he knows he doesn't. Do we get married anyway (and I secretly
hope he'll change his mind?)

Signed,
"Mom"

Dear "Mom,"

Here's the thing: you can't assume anyone (partner, friend, relative, etc.) will
ever change. You just can't. You have to take people as they are today and not
what you want them to be in fantasy. So today your boyfriend does not want a
family. Could he change his mind? Sure, but there is no absolute guarantee.
And that's certainly a big risk if you know for sure you want to be a mom.

So I say you really have to weigh what is more important to you: having a
boyfriend that you love and giving up the idea of being a mom or finding someone
who also shares your same family desires and losing your current beau. I know
this isn't easy to answer and unfortunately, I can't make the decision for you.
But I think if you really listen to your heart you'll know what to do.

All the best,
Kelli