Dear Kelli,
I have been meeting this wonderful man during the last two weeks and have been invited by him to two lunches, one dinner, a theater play and a film at the cinema. We have great conversations and we seem to click on multiple levels. I do not want to come across as anxious, but usually by the third date I would expect a more seductive hint, such as a touch of hands or even a passionate kiss. However, in spite of his continuing to invite me out -- we have plans in the coming days -- and really enjoying our company, it seems that it is not evolving beyond a platonic level. I am interested in something more than that, but my terrible fear is that he may be gay. If I confront him in that regard, he may take offense (if he is not!) and worse, I could lose this wonderful friendship altogether. Any advice on how to move forward?
Signed,
A Woman Yearning for Passion
Dear Woman Yearning for Passion,
Patience my girl! Patience! It's only been two weeks -- not two years! I actually think it's great you two are taking it slow. So many times couples get intimate way too quickly and miss out on really getting to know each other. I know it's hard. If you're anything short of a nun it's not going to be easy. But I would really take this chance to see if you guys are really a good match. What is his position on the death penalty? Is he into 20/20 or Housewives of Atlanta? Does he like hiking or is his idea of exercise getting up to get a beer? You catch my drift…
With that said, I would wait just a little bit longer. If after a month or two from now he's still acting statue-esque, it's time for a talk. I would say something along the lines of:
"I've really enjoyed your company these last few weeks. But I did just want to check in and see how you feel about our relationship. How do you view it?"
However you want to do it, I would just make sure to leave the question open-ended. An open-ended question facilitates more of a detailed response rather than a yes or no question which can be answered in one quick word. And for this you want as much detail as possible!
All the best,
Kelli
Hey Kelli,
I'm 24 and am dating a great guy who is 25. While it does not bother me, his hair line is definitely receding and I think it qualifies as male pattern baldness. It doesn't bother me at all, but it definitely bothers him. He's sort of growing his hair out to cover up the front and actually the shaggy combover look probably isn't the most flattering style he could rock. What can I do as a girlfriend to help him realize that it's okay to have a receding hairline, and that accepting hair loss gracefully is more attractive than trying to mask it with complicated hair styles? He definitely hasn't had a haircut in months and it's starting to look unkempt and doesn't really even hide the receding hairline. I read online that Rogaine isn't for a receding hairline. Could he be a candidate for Propecia? And what is my role as his girlfriend in this?
Signed,
Doesn't Know How to Help
Dear Doesn't Know How to Help,
I think it's smart that you're approaching this subject with delicacy. I relate a man's hair to a woman's weight: Approach with caution.
I had an idea but it takes your participation as well. Say to your man, "Hey, I've been thinking about it. What if we do something totally different and both got makeovers?" Now you can either do something drastic like change your hair style (or color) or do something not as extreme and just change your style of clothing. The idea is to show him you are able to step out of the box as well. Then I would simply suggest the idea of a new hairstyle for him. If he does choose to do it, be sure to praise him and tell him how wonderful and sexy he looks. And be sure to reward him (if you get my drift...)
If he's resistant to a makeover, then I would suggest taking the cutesy but honest approach. Maybe something like, "Hey John, you know I'm great with fashion and trends, right? And I was thinking -- you have such beautiful eyes. But the way you do your hair doesn't really show them off. Why not just go more natural? What if we style your hair this way? You'd look so hot without it." Who could resist that, especially coming from the person he admires the most?!
All the best,
Kelli
Dear Kelli,
My husband and I are tight with finances right now and we're quite embarrassed by it. Our best couple friends do not have this problem. Because money isn't an issue for them, they are constantly asking us to go to expensive restaurants. I can't afford inexpensive restaurants, let alone expensive ones! I don't want to seem cheap and I'm not ready to be honest about our finances. I also don't want to lose out on their friendship. We're really enjoyed eating with them in the past. What to do?
Signed,
Frugal Foodie
Dear Frugal Foodie,
Call them up and invite them to your house for dinner. You can serve four and even a bottle of wine for very little money. If you enjoy the evening, ask them if they wouldn't mind doing the home thing more often, maybe even switching off houses. Tell them you like the ambiance, not worrying about parking, and making dinner all together.
You can read more about budget friendly recipes here:
http://allrecipes.com/HowTo/Cooking-on-a-Budget/Detail.aspx
http://www.betterbudgeting.com/frugalrecipelist.htm
http://www.cheapcooking.com/
When the weather gets warmer you can also suggest a picnic outside.
All the best,
Kelli
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