Dear Kelli,
My sister has never attended any of my kids’ events (soccer games, birthday parties, etc.) nor has she ever given them any gifts. I just got an invite to her child’s Bar Mitzvah. Does my family go even though she never attended any of our events? Do we get a gift despite the fact she never gave our family any?
Signed,
Spiteful
Dear Spiteful,
I learned something awhile back. Never let anyone else’s behavior determine your character. Yes, it was wrong and hurtful for your sister never to attend any of your family’s events. So why would you do the same? Plus you don’t want to punish your sister’s kid for something your sister did. Remember this event is in honor of her son, not her! I would go and be the bigger person. As far the gift goes, you don’t have to go crazy but I would do a little something. Again, don’t let your sister’s behavior influence yours.
Perhaps this could open up a whole new line of communication between the families?
All the best,
Kelli
Dear Kelli,
I was with a group of work colleagues the other day and one guy “Dan” started making fun of a new girl in our office “Stephanie,” who’s extremely overweight. We were in front of everyone so I just laughed along with the crowd. I think I would have felt awkward if I said something. What do you think?
Signed,
Feeling Bad
Dear Feeling Bad,
Those situations aren’t easy to be in but in order for it to stop someone has to say something. That someone can be you next time. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Just something along the lines of, “Dan, that isn’t really nice. Stephanie is a really sweet girl.” Ironically, you won’t be the one everyone feels awkward about- it will be the guy who made the rude comment. And I almost guarantee “Dan” won’t be making fun of anyone in the near future again. It’s amazing how once someone is embarrassed they learn their lesson quickly.
All the best,
Kelli
Dear Kelli,
I’ve asked out a girl twice already and got turned down both times. But the funny thing is the girl still flirts with me when I see her out. Do I try one more time?
Signed,
Third Time’s a Charm
Dear Third Time’s a Charm,
Yes, I’d give it one last shot but that’s it.
You can even preface it with a little humor like this, “Hey Cindy, I know I’ve asked you out and you keep turning me down. But I feel a connection between us so I’m giving it one last shot. And I promise this is it. So if you say no now you’re losing me forever.”
Then make it the last time no matter if she flirts with you until the cows come home.
All the best,
Kelli
Showing posts with label siblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label siblings. Show all posts
Monday, June 21, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Ask Kelli: Doctor's Office, Quick Food, & Sibling Issues
Dear Kelli,
I get so angry when I go to my doctor's office and I have to wait over an hour for my appointment. I feel like I'm wasting so much time. URG! I don't want to leave this particular doctor because I do like him. I just can't stand the waiting. What can I do?
Signed,
Waiting for Calm
Dear Waiting for Calm,
I can certainly understand why you're annoyed. Waiting for the doctor can be a very frustrating experience especially when you've made every attempt to get there on time. Here are my suggestions:
1) Expect the doctor to run late. Sometimes just preparing yourself for this scenario helps you feel less surprised when you get there. And chances are if he's late 4 out of 5 times, he'll be late the next time.
2) Call ahead before you leave for your appointment. Find out for certain if the doctor is running late. If he is you can hang back a few minutes before you leave.
3) Make "leisure time" out of waiting. Bring your favorite magazine, needlepoint, journal, etc., to help pass the time.
4) Savor the moment of just doing nothing. Sometimes I meditate while I'm waiting for an appointment. When do you have a chance to really do nothing?
5) Weigh the options. I know you mentioned you like this doctor. But weigh finding another doctor (with the risk of not liking him/her as much) or staying with this one and having to wait. You could always try a new doctor and see how you feel.
6) Try talking to this doctor about it. In a nice way you might want to say something like, "Is there anything I can do to ensure my next visit will be on time?" This way you are not placing the blame directly on the doctor and risking putting him on the defense.
Good luck,
Kelli
Dear Kelli,
I want to cook a healthy dinner for my family but I feel so pressed for time. I'm sick of junk food carryout and frankly, we don't have the money to keep doing it! I like cooking just don't have that much time. Any suggestions?
Signed,
Pressed Foodie
Dear Pressed Foodie,
You are speaking my language! I really like the following cookbook:
"The Six O'Clock Scramble" by Aviva Goldfarb (also online: http://thescramble.com/ )
And online I love these cooking sites:
1) http://www.foodnetwork.com/quick-and-easy/index.html
2) http://allrecipes.com/Recipes/Everyday-Cooking/Quick-and-Easy/Main.aspx
3) http://www.myrecipes.com/recipes/quick-and-easy/
You can always prepare some ingredients the night before so you aren't as rushed the day of. Finally, I buy a lot of prepared vegetables in the grocery store (bagged salad, shredded carrots, etc.) It can be a bit more expensive but it's worth it when you are trying to save time!
Bon appetit,
Kelli
Dear Kelli,
I haven't spoken to my only brother (my only sibling) in over 11 years. We had a falling out years ago bit lately I've really been missing him. The problem is he was in the wrong and didn't treat me right. What do you recommend?
Signed,
Sibling Rivalry
Dear Sibling Rivalry,
Unless you want to spend the next 11 years not talking I recommend you be the bigger person here and call him up. It doesn't matter who was at fault, who started it, who ended it, yada, yada. All that matters is the present which is that you want to mend a broken relationship. Good for you.
I would start the first conversation off easy and light. Tell your brother you miss him and you don't like not talking. Then later when things settle you can ask what happened and perhaps set the boundaries for future interactions (so what happened doesn't happen again).
If you find yourself second guessing the situation ask yourself: Is it better to be right or to be happy?
You only have one brother. Life is too short to spend any more of it without him.
All the best,
Kelli
I get so angry when I go to my doctor's office and I have to wait over an hour for my appointment. I feel like I'm wasting so much time. URG! I don't want to leave this particular doctor because I do like him. I just can't stand the waiting. What can I do?
Signed,
Waiting for Calm
Dear Waiting for Calm,
I can certainly understand why you're annoyed. Waiting for the doctor can be a very frustrating experience especially when you've made every attempt to get there on time. Here are my suggestions:
1) Expect the doctor to run late. Sometimes just preparing yourself for this scenario helps you feel less surprised when you get there. And chances are if he's late 4 out of 5 times, he'll be late the next time.
2) Call ahead before you leave for your appointment. Find out for certain if the doctor is running late. If he is you can hang back a few minutes before you leave.
3) Make "leisure time" out of waiting. Bring your favorite magazine, needlepoint, journal, etc., to help pass the time.
4) Savor the moment of just doing nothing. Sometimes I meditate while I'm waiting for an appointment. When do you have a chance to really do nothing?
5) Weigh the options. I know you mentioned you like this doctor. But weigh finding another doctor (with the risk of not liking him/her as much) or staying with this one and having to wait. You could always try a new doctor and see how you feel.
6) Try talking to this doctor about it. In a nice way you might want to say something like, "Is there anything I can do to ensure my next visit will be on time?" This way you are not placing the blame directly on the doctor and risking putting him on the defense.
Good luck,
Kelli
Dear Kelli,
I want to cook a healthy dinner for my family but I feel so pressed for time. I'm sick of junk food carryout and frankly, we don't have the money to keep doing it! I like cooking just don't have that much time. Any suggestions?
Signed,
Pressed Foodie
Dear Pressed Foodie,
You are speaking my language! I really like the following cookbook:
"The Six O'Clock Scramble" by Aviva Goldfarb (also online: http://thescramble.com/ )
And online I love these cooking sites:
1) http://www.foodnetwork.com/quick-and-easy/index.html
2) http://allrecipes.com/Recipes/Everyday-Cooking/Quick-and-Easy/Main.aspx
3) http://www.myrecipes.com/recipes/quick-and-easy/
You can always prepare some ingredients the night before so you aren't as rushed the day of. Finally, I buy a lot of prepared vegetables in the grocery store (bagged salad, shredded carrots, etc.) It can be a bit more expensive but it's worth it when you are trying to save time!
Bon appetit,
Kelli
Dear Kelli,
I haven't spoken to my only brother (my only sibling) in over 11 years. We had a falling out years ago bit lately I've really been missing him. The problem is he was in the wrong and didn't treat me right. What do you recommend?
Signed,
Sibling Rivalry
Dear Sibling Rivalry,
Unless you want to spend the next 11 years not talking I recommend you be the bigger person here and call him up. It doesn't matter who was at fault, who started it, who ended it, yada, yada. All that matters is the present which is that you want to mend a broken relationship. Good for you.
I would start the first conversation off easy and light. Tell your brother you miss him and you don't like not talking. Then later when things settle you can ask what happened and perhaps set the boundaries for future interactions (so what happened doesn't happen again).
If you find yourself second guessing the situation ask yourself: Is it better to be right or to be happy?
You only have one brother. Life is too short to spend any more of it without him.
All the best,
Kelli
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