Ask Kelli: Angry with Husband, Boyfriend with Lizards, & Favorite Place to Live

Dear Kelli,
Two days ago I had a flat tire on the highway. I called AAA and they said they would be there within 45 minutes. I also called my husband. He asked if I was okay. I said yes and that AAA was coming. He then asked if I needed him. I said no. AAA finally arrived an hour later but I kept thinking my husband should have been there too. Do I have a right to be mad at him?

Signed,
Flat Out Annoyed


Dear Flat Out Annoyed,
Here's the funny thing about spouses. They may be loving, they may be kind. They may be frustrating, they may drive us crazy. But the one thing they can't do? They can't read our minds. Your husband asked if you needed him. You said no. He took your word at face value which is exactly what he should have done. He trusted that you would have told him if you needed him there. I can understand why you would want him there (it's scary being on the highway alone) but you need to learn to tell him how you really feel, not assume he will guess. This is a great lesson in learning to be more assertive with your needs. Sorry--you can't be angry with him for this one.
But feel free to be angry with him if he leaves the toilet seat up.

All the best,
Kelli


Dear Kelli,
My boyfriend of 3 years has 5 lizards. He's had them before we started dating. Here's the thing: I'm starting to think he cares for them more than me. He really loves these creatures. It's starting to irk me a bit. Why does he need 5 lizards? Can't 1 or even 2 suffice? Do I give him an ultimatum: me or the reptiles?

Signed,
Reptile-phobic


Dear Reptile-phobic,
Here's the key sentence in your post that got me: "He's had them before we started dating." So sweets, you knew what you were getting into when you started dating him. He had the lizards before you were involved and it's not as if he purchased them after you started dating. That would be a different story.

It's obvious your boyfriend has a thing for reptiles. So here's how I see it. You have two choices. #1) Accept him with all the lizards or #2) Move on and be reptile-free. Now if you were married (which reminds me, where is that ring after three years?!), you could put a stop on getting any more lizards, or at least have a say in it. For now, however, you have to eat this one.

All the best,
Kelli


Dear Kelli,
What is your favorite city to visit or to live?
Signed,
Just Wondering


Dear Just Wondering,
So I've lived in Rockville, MD, Gainesville, FL, Paris, France, Washington, DC,
Philadelphia, PA, New York, NY, Santa Monica, CA, and now Gaithersburg, MD. Out of all of those, hands down I'd go with either Paris or Santa Monica. The beauty of Paris is unparalleled and you just can't beat the weather in Santa Monica.

I've traveled to Finland, Norway, Denmark, Sweden, Italy, Austria, Switzerland, England, the Netherlands, Spain, Japan, China, Canada, Mexico, Belize, Honduras, and most countries in the Caribbean. I absolutely loved Japan and really enjoyed Italy and Scandinavia.

Right now with an 8 month old, time to myself in the shower feels like a vacation. Thanks for the question. It was nice to reminisce.

All the best,
Kelli